If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance. ~ George Bernard Shaw

i heard 2 of my sisters cry today. both were talking about my families. one over the phone, the other i watched some 5 feet away from me.

the one on the phone
talked about disappointment.
how she couldn't stand it, how hard it is to be in it, live her life, and stay sane all at the same time. she is unhappy - left me grasping for words when i realised so.
i knew words were out of place for such a moment anyway.
especially because i was on to what she wanted to really say.
and because i realised what it would mean for my family, our family, if they discovered what was in her heart.

the one in front of me
professed her love for us, her family.
the challenges, reasons that has driven her to achieve more than what she has happily set out to. how we figured in that, how we made it worthwhile, how we made the experience fun.
and how she learned from us as much as how we did from her, how blessed we all were to have been part of each other.

both broke my heart, because both are leaving. one to rid herself of discontent, the other full and wanting change, new challenges, growth, more.

it has put me in a contemplative, almost-melancholic mood. probably because i worry about their worries, i share their fears, i feel the covert excitement that they feel, i'm anticipating what they will go through in the next couple of days, weeks, months, years. as if i was them.

i love both dearly, probably more than they'd ever know.